House Arrest!

Today should be the day to throw a huge party in celebration of Hannah’s “coming of age” – that is, a month old. According to strict confinement practices, it should also be my first hair wash in 30 days.

Welcome to the world of traditional Chinese confinement practices, otherwise known to rebellious people like myself as “House Arrest”. Although my parents are now Christians, occasionally it is difficult to differentiate between cultural and superstitious belief. So, since the birth of Hannah, I have been subjected to a watered-down version of Chinese confinement. This encompasses a 30-day period of dietary and lifestyle restrictions, with the aim to improve the health and well-being of both mother and infant.

Here is a glimpse of what it should be, and how I fared:

Mother and child must not leave the house during the confinement period

Some of you must have been wondering why Hannah’s first outing was such a big deal that we had to blog about it. She should have been ‘let out’ only today, when we should rightly have a Full Moon celebration. This would involve lots of friends and relatives, a big Chinese meal and lots of presents for Hannah! Apparently, pregnant women should not touch her at this time, as it would cause her to be a difficult child to handle in future. Oh, as for myself, I’ve already done two shopping trips with Chris to get supplies for Hannah.

No hair-washing for 30 days

Ah, I can imagine some of you going “Eeuuu”. Fear not, this practice is so widely practiced that we now have dry shampoo to relieve some of the discomfort. The rationale is to keep “fung” or "wind” out of the mother’s body and prevent unnecessary joint problems in future. I managed to last till the end of the first week before I put my foot down and insisted on some degree of personal hygiene.

No bathing for 12 days

On the 13th day, women are supposed to bathe in warm, boiled water with herbs. Some sweep alcohol all over their bodies to "close the pores" and "reduce wind from entering the body". You can imagine how impractical this is in a warm tropical country like Malaysia. I had my warm shower on Day 3.

No direct exposure to “wind”

For example, no air-conditioning or direct usage of a fan or even a hair dryer. I have been sleeping in an air-conditioned room with the fan blowing at top speed each night. Looks like I'm bound for arthritis by the time I hit 35.

No TV watching for more than 15 minutes at a time

The eyes are thought to age first and watching TV can speed this up. As such, no reading for long periods, and no excessive crying. Well, no problem with this one as I’ve not had much time to watch TV, or have any form recreation anyway!

Do not carry heavy objects or sit/walk for too long

This includes carrying the baby! The aim is to allow the internal organs to heal well, preventing conditions such as uterine prolapse. Hmm. The Chinese usually employ a confinement lady during this period, who will not only help to look after the infant, but also cook special confinement food, allowing the recuperating mother much needed rest. Ah, but try breastfeeding, on demand, and you will realise how impossible this is. Relatives who came to visit noted with disapproval that I spent too much time sitting in front of the computer and not in bed. Most insist that I should retreat to the bedroom and have a lie down. My excuse? Surfing the net is a form of relaxation for me - times have changed. I could do it in bed, but our wireless isn't working.

Do not drink plain water for 20 days

Or was it 30 days? Everyone has their own version on this one. Apparently, we have to drink a special herbal concoction in place of plain water. Much as I enjoyed the herbal drink, I was sneaking in water into the room by the first day. I compromised and drank warm water initially, then my mother gave up on me and allowed me to drink whatever.

Special confinement diet

It has been a month-long of ginger, rice wine, sesame seed oil and Benedictine DOM. Thankfully I was spared some of the extreme food preparations of pig offal, although I would have enjoyed eating frogs – somehow Ma never got round to buying that for me. Generally I ate what was placed in front of me, and obediently stayed away from anything taken directly from the fridge. To this day I have yet to figure out which foods are “heaty” and which are “cool”, and when I’m meant to eat which. Just thank God for the food and eat, I say.

There are many more taboos and restrictions during the confinement period – there must be books written on this subject. In the early days I was rather rebellious and disliked the restrictions imposed on me. Soon I realized that the pressure was also on my mother, who acted as my confinement lady. Well meaning relatives would visit or call, asking how mother and baby were doing. Everyone would give their opinion on confinement practices, reminding my mother that mother and baby would suffer all sorts of pains and aches if she didn’t do things right. They would mention someone who had particularly bad arthritis as a result of having a shower every evening, or chronic backache due to insufficient bed rest.

Say what you want, but these folks really believe in the cause and effect of confinement practices. Since the beliefs are so culturally ingrained, the psychological effect is even greater. Every good doctor knows that as long as the patient trusts you, half the battle is won. Never mind that postnatally all women have stretched ligaments and hence are more prone to backaches, or the fact that having to care for a little baby involves lots of carrying, cuddling and rocking – all of which leads to aches in the back and arms!

I suppose at the end of the day, the intent is good. After all, the aim is to protect the well-being of the mother and child. Someone said that confinement practices may actually have started from the days of ancient China, where women had their only time of rest after having a child. Otherwise, women had to work hard in the fields from dawn to dusk, and look after the needs of the household. A lifetime of hardship and suffering punctuated by brief periods of pampering and rest.

As for me, I will celebrate my release today, at the same time realizing that I have already broken many of the confinement rules. I have no intention of being disrespectful to those who unyieldingly cling to such practices , yet I will have to appeal to my own sense of logic before willingly embracing some of these teachings. What I have followed, I do so out of respect for my mother. Whenever relatives come, I quickly put on my fluffy house slippers and make sure I wear a long sarong (all to keep out “wind”), consciously making sure that I spend a portion of their visit time in my bedroom. After all, I don’t want to get my mother in trouble!

There are many more stories I could tell, such as using the baby's dirty diaper to clean his face to get rid of unsightly rashes(milia, which is normal and self-limiting), or bathing the baby in alcohol to reduce "heatiness". Anyone has more stories to contribute?